I give up

After H.I programmes, it will then be considered a real holidays. Oh, really ? They are tightly scheduled with badminton trainings. I'm not trying to groan here, but I can't help it upon thinking Coach YuHe is returning next week.

It is a bad news for me. I seriously love the temporary coach currently. Can he not leave ?

I'm aware it is kind of impossible under the situation now. It is just my wishful thinkings. Boo.

I have no plans for my holidays. It must be slacking, studying, trainings and staring into space. What a mundane life I am going to have.

During the holiday trainings, some of my team mates will be not attending. Either they are just too lazy & can't be bothered to attend or they are flying to some other countries. Disappointing to hear that. It may just leave me, the only secondary three girl attending.

Sometimes, I ponder why am I so "hardworking" to be attending every single training sessions. Why is it that others can easily pon their cca yet I can't do the same ? Physically I can but mentally I can't.

Fancy me asking if people are gonna attend the trainings, why? The answers, whatever. I.Give.Up. I find it no point. That is their choices, not mine. Whatever~ I am not pin-pointing anyone here. Just some thoughts.

In a bewilderment, I do not understand myself truly.

Recently, I guess too many things are up on my mind. I feel weighed down. I abhor the feeling. Bleee Blaaa Blooo, 'm on the verge of tears. Take that mind away from me and return me with a light one, pleaseeee.

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Few days back, I woke up from an awful dream. Fortunately, my alarmed clock rang in time so that the dream does not continue. I don't wish to elaborate here like I did in the past. (Oops, did I? Was it here ? Hahaha.) 'Cause the dream was really horrifying and apprehension. I do not wish the dream to return to me some time later.

Speaking about dreams, I used to have same particular dream that "haunts" me once in a while. I am referring precisely the same dream each time. Do you also even have a moment whereby you dream of unpleasant events and you was awakened by it, yet when you opened your eyes, you still see the events appearing before you ? And, you tried to close your eyes so that the image will somehow vanish, yet the moment you closed your eyes and you still see the afrighting event ?

This is what I have experienced before. It is really horrifying eh.

Alright, I shall end my entry here.
Goodbye.